This past week brought to my family more hurdles, more difficult decisions and very few answers. I found myself looking up to the heavens and waiting for advice and direction from my parents. But no one spoke to me, and again that deep loss became apparent. I began to realize that at fifty-six all decisions my husband and I need to make would have to come from within. I no longer had either my mother or my father to turn to, to bounce things off of, or to get some direction. All our decisions now for our family will be based on what we alone or with professionals believe is correct. We must draw from our experiences and what we were taught and make some tough choices that undoubtedly face every family at one time or other.
I wish life was easier, that hard choices came but once in a lifetime. But the reality is that life is based on tough choices, and that a family becomes stronger with adversity and that everything we do must be the result of good judgment.
And, with every decision we must be ready for the outcome. For right or wrong, it is our actions that leads us to the next step. And all we can do is cross our fingers, push forward and stand by our convictions. That is what it is all about. Our fate may not be in our hands but our destiny is. As my children are my life – so is their future. I can only hope and pray we make the correct decisions.
And, maybe, while still looking upward from time to time, there will be a sign, unannounced and discreet, that will let me know that the decisions we are making are the right ones. But more importantly, as I am sure my parents would be telling us, that those decisions are our own.